You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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