i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
40s are totally the cure
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
