Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
