Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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