we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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