Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize