making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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