i need an iv and a liver transplant
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
