i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
