She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
