The maid of honor just puked.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
