So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
