anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
