that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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