Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
