you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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