Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
