Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
