I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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