oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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