you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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