walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
