She's JV to your varsity
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
