just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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