return my video game
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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