Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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