I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
