i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
