guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
not ubering you a puppy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
