I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
