I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
