I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
