is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
