My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
