No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
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I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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