you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
