And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
