ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
