its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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