So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think my fart just growled at me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
