Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
