Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
