My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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