You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
