Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's even glitter on my cock...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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