Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
