I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
