I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
