The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm at about main and main street
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
