Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
