What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Rumble strips road head = magical
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize