my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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