I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
