I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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