I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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