Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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