im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize