The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
