woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
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Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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