White coat. Heels.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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